Well, it's Wednesday and I have had 5 days off of school from the snow. Today was a half day and to be honest...it was pretty half hearted on my part. I just felt like I should still be at home curled up on the couch or playing in the snow with Austin and Mercie. I found myself wishing to be snowed in again! How awesome it was to be in the comfort of my little apartment. Ahhh sweetness. I probably would have eventually gotten bored and anxious. There was just so much to do and think about!
Lately I have been asking myself several questions. My heart does not feel content with what I already accept as the truth. Like, sometimes I know i don't know everything there is to know, so I will just pretend that what I already know is the truth. Lately, this is not acceptable. Questions of purpose, challenges, change and faith are running circles in my mind. They are running very gracefully. It is as if God himself is speaking to me very slowly and showing me a simple presentation- for now. I have this feeling it gets more intense!
I have been very brave lately. It is actually kind of scary how brave I feel! I mean if there was a weeny girl it would be me! I can be set in concrete of fear. Don't try to move me! But with the questions I have been asking this one keeps coming up- MELODY WHY ARE YOU SUCH A BABY? WHAT ARE YOU SO SCARED OF? YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR! GET OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE AND FOLLOW JESUS!- ok, so that is not really a question and it also is not grammatically correct. (one dollar to anyone who finds the error)
Have you ever heard anyone say that the things you are most afraid of are the things you were meant to do? Why would our flesh cry out or Satan use his manipulative tactics to scare us if it were something we were not meant to do? It comes down to this- we all know the truth. It is set in our hearts. Those questions of "what if I had just done it" exist for a reason.
When I think about how I want my life to be I think the word "adventure". Ironically, I am a chicken! CLUCK CLUCK! So satan, demons and self- you can stuff your hole with my chicken feathers FLYING AWAY FROM YOU. HA.
I do not want to live a life about ME. I want to live a life about Jesus. So, I am excited and terrified. I may need water wings for my first ocean excursion!
I can not shake the thought of seeing the world, experiencing life outside of what I know and sharing Jesus with the world. So, I won't shake this thought...but I will shake my body to the beat of life! (ok cheeeesy)
love and peace out mothas
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Another year
Wow. 2010. It seems like just yesterday we were in our old apartment celebrating 2009 and discovering a song by the TingTings called..."That's not my name". I believe the year 2009 was the most eye opening year of my life so far. I look back just one year and I see so much more than I saw then. I feel like I learned what looking ahead and anticipating life's surprises really meant- because when you don't you get slapped in the face with reality!
God has been so good. I have watched my brother be blessed with a wife. I enjoy watching him look at her because I can tell he truly loves and adores her. I haven't seen that in him for awhile. He is a testimony that God is faithful.
I watched my sister-in-law endure so much pain with the sickness of my niece Kate. I also watched as she praised the Lord for the miracles He's done in her life. Kate is my angel. When I look at her I see a little piece of heaven. I just hope she knows how much I love her. I hope she can see that in my eyes. I have another niece now as well, little Layla D. I have seen how God is the author of a family, not genetics. Every time I am around this family my heart soars. It is literally like Jesus is in our midst. You can feel the joy.
My husband is an amazing man. The way he loves me is so sweet. Have we fought about him leaving his tea maker out on the counter? Yes. Has he had to pick up bowls off the floor that i let Mercie lick? Yes. Regardless, at the end of the day he is my best friend. He is the one I want to call in the middle of the day. He is the one that I put my cold feet on. He is the one that puts up with my moodiness. Almost two years now and he is still the one I kiss goodnight. Everyday is a learning process. I can not wait to see what God has planned for us this year. I can see his hand working already.
My job has been a surprisingly enjoyable journey. I have left there in tears, crying for their pain and disabilities. But there have been moments of endless laughter with them as well. Nothing could replace the time I have been given with them. Some of them are so mean, so hateful....they throw things and cuss. But they need us. And we have been called to be there, for whatever reason...we are there to love.
Life is so precious. Resolutions I have not...Desires I have many.
More Jesus. Less Melody.
God has been so good. I have watched my brother be blessed with a wife. I enjoy watching him look at her because I can tell he truly loves and adores her. I haven't seen that in him for awhile. He is a testimony that God is faithful.
I watched my sister-in-law endure so much pain with the sickness of my niece Kate. I also watched as she praised the Lord for the miracles He's done in her life. Kate is my angel. When I look at her I see a little piece of heaven. I just hope she knows how much I love her. I hope she can see that in my eyes. I have another niece now as well, little Layla D. I have seen how God is the author of a family, not genetics. Every time I am around this family my heart soars. It is literally like Jesus is in our midst. You can feel the joy.
My husband is an amazing man. The way he loves me is so sweet. Have we fought about him leaving his tea maker out on the counter? Yes. Has he had to pick up bowls off the floor that i let Mercie lick? Yes. Regardless, at the end of the day he is my best friend. He is the one I want to call in the middle of the day. He is the one that I put my cold feet on. He is the one that puts up with my moodiness. Almost two years now and he is still the one I kiss goodnight. Everyday is a learning process. I can not wait to see what God has planned for us this year. I can see his hand working already.
My job has been a surprisingly enjoyable journey. I have left there in tears, crying for their pain and disabilities. But there have been moments of endless laughter with them as well. Nothing could replace the time I have been given with them. Some of them are so mean, so hateful....they throw things and cuss. But they need us. And we have been called to be there, for whatever reason...we are there to love.
Life is so precious. Resolutions I have not...Desires I have many.
More Jesus. Less Melody.
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